Halloween Rick
by HookahSocialism
Summary: Rick develops a reality altering gadget that makes everyone become their Halloween costume. The consequences should not surprise you...


Beth is carving a pumpkin and Jerry comes home with a bunch of candy to give trick or treaters and Morty tells Summer.

"Gee Summer doesnt it...doesnt it feel like Halloween already passed?"

"I know what you mean Morty...I could have sworn Halloween already came and went and like...calcium was the micro nurtient of interest?"

"What? Msn Summer. I dont know what kind of crazy diet you're on but..."

"Hey hey motherfuckers! Grandpa Rick has a new invention thats gonna make Halloween at least double as fun!"

"Oh gee Rick thats uhhh...thats ok. Me and Summer we're just gonna trick or treat?"

"Trick or treat? Bitch im going to a party."

"Ok I'M going trick or treating!"

"Morty...(belch) you're too pussy to trick so you're just gonna treat and by treat I mean walk around a bunch of neighborhoods collecting free candy which sounds awesome until you realize most people are unoriginal little shits and if I wanted a snickers id just get a snickers and even those upper class neighborhoods that give out two liters to show off their wealth are hacks."

Rick takes a swig of his candy corn painted flask. He then wipes his mouth and takes a little box out of his pocket.

"This device Morty...it'll transform all you little shits into whatever you dress up as by merging several multiverses simultaneously to conglomerate into one cohesive reality. I'll only have it last the 24 hours of halloween though as shit could get really weird otherwise..."

"Oh geez Rick..."

"Think about it Morty. Your (belch) your grandpa is giving you the chance to be anyone, ever! You could be Superman Morty! Or a dinosaur! Or..."

"Gee Rick I don't know... I feel like you're taking this existential escapism to a level it does not need to go just because you're not happy with your life and decisions. I really just want to have some good clean fun and score a big candy haul."

Rick drinks some more and wipes his mouth.

"You want me to at least teleport that hot bitch from Hocus Pocus here Morty? She'd suck both our dicks back to back...she's a little freak."

"Are...are you talking about the blonde witch Rick?"

In Rick's garage is a teleporter gun with a sticky note to remember to get laid and a picture of the little sister in that movie.

"Sure Morty...the blonde one."

"Rick I really just wanna trick or treat and watch movies. Please don't ruin Halloween ok?"

Halloween comes around and Morty looks around.

"Mom...dad...im going trick or treating k? Mom? Dad?"

As he looks for them Beth is cutting up some carrots and as he goes up to her...

"Mom?"

Beth's head turns 180 degrees and spews green soup in his face than giggles and does some backward spiderwalk thing out the door.

"Ok mom is either on the rag or Rick ruined Halloween..."

Jerry is in just a loincloth and wields a giant sword with long flowing hair and has an Arnold Swartzzanager accent.

"Ja Morty...there are many foul demons lurking outside. You should stay inside where its safe."

"Ok today might be dad's LARPing night I dunn'o..."

Summer runs into the house and lock the door.

"Morty grandpa ruined halloween."

"Well shit..."

Theres a spooky clown outside the window.

"Hey kids...come out here and you can float too!"

"Summer...was Rick aware of the IT trailer?"

"I dont think so..."

"OHHHH SHIIIITTTTT"

Rick bangs the door and says to let him in as they both hear guts spilling and lasers going off. Rick gets inside and gasps for air and takes out his flask.

"God fucking DAMN IT normies! Nearly everyone out there is a Pennywise! What did you kids do?!"

"Us? You...you said you were gonna make Halloween real Rick!"

"I did?"

Rick half asleep walks into the room scratching himself.

"I wanted to wakeup to Halloween and I heard the commotion...(belch) whose this jackoff?"

"I'm the swiftyist of Ricks motherfucker!!!"

Rick pulls out a laser gun and shoots the other Rick in the head.

"Yea no..."

Summer looks out the window.

"Grandpa...theres a war going on out there of you plural and Pennywises. Also a few of you are pickles."

"Oh Jesus...I should really check the internet from time to time. Course I cant CAUSE I'M ALWAYS BANNED. Oh sure you little faggots loooove Rick and Morty. But if a Rick tells you to fuck off or your opinion is stupid suddenly you lose your shit and...is that a reddit robot outside?"

"You're banned and you're banned and you're banned! All the Pennywises and Ricks are banned!"

Suddenly all the Ricks and Pennywises dissapear.

Morty looks out the window...

"Gee Rick...this kinda...you know...makes it hard to make it out like moderators are the peverbial evil when..."

"Now I can watch my child pornography in peace and think of new ways to embezzle finances through online transactions and evade my taxes!"

"Oh geez..."

Rick opens the door and shoots the reddit robot and suddenly all the Ricks and Pennywises teleport back and start killing eachother again and have fake mustaches on.

"What the..."

"Alt-accounts Morty... (belch) mods dont solve the problem of trolls. They amplify them."

Jerry the barbarian grabs Rick's shoulder.

"Wise sorcerer...despite your precision with that wand of thunder and lightning I must insist you stay inside. At least until ample amount of demons have quinched eachother in battle and we can make a move."

"You never actually read the comic books or pulp fictions of Conan did you Jerry? Literally Borack Obama would have made a better Conan the...OH GOD WHAT HAVE I DONE YOU GUYS"

Suddenly the hells march theme of red alert plays as an army of Donald Trumps goose steps toward the warzone of Pennywise and Ricks. The Donalds hold hands forming a giant wall and than transform in a burst of light into one giant Donald Trump who just says "bigley..." than starts stepping on Ricks and Pennywise alike "fake news..." "you're fired."

Summer starts crying.

"Grandpa Rick this is getting weird!"

"I know kids... And theres still like ten more hours of this. Howzabout we just eat the Halloween candy Jerry got and we all watch movies until this cycles over?"

As Pennywises bring down the giant Donald and eat his flesh. And the giant Trump screams for someone to save him from the deep state... Pickle Ricks roll around in the whilst the real Rick pokes fun at some of the scenes of the horror movie they are watching and everybody laughs.

As Halloween ends at the stroke of midnight. People turn back to normal. Many are still deaf and mutilated but the the pickle Ricks as normal people still roll in the blood and makes bad meme jokes.

Rick hands Morty the last miniature Snickers. "Sorry I ruined Halloween Morty..."

"You know what Rick? You didnt. This is what I wanted...just you know...a simple time with laughs and candy. Even if it meant outside this house a demented war between three or four characters because your average person is an unoriginal cunt but wants to stick their two cents into what is and isn't acceptable content for the internet... I'm glad you used the halloween box Rick. It was both a trick and a treat. You really captured the halloween spirit."

Beth spiders walks backwards and grabs some candy with her mouth muttering The Lord's prayer backward.

Rick looks at Beth

"Geez Beth get some birth control pills or something to level your period...Christ."


End file.
